Right now, I'm feeling very weird. I've always had this little spark of anxiety almost everyday. But weird enough, I feel very calm and happy.

Today went as easy as it should be. Right now I'm listening to Alison Krauss' Carolina in My Mind. It's a very nice and soothing song.


A little introduction for the year 2010 (Wow..ten years after the millennium...)
I'm currently still in St. Joseph still . I never thought of changing school, not at all. I'm pretty much as happy a cat found fish.

I'm still in the band. Yea, you guys would've think that, "Have I no life?!" As the matter of fact, I do have a life, and its with my band boys. Don't think that I'm that blind, ok? I'm sane and obviously still alive. So, figure the maths yourself.

Now, back to my musical life, I decided to pause my music activity for now. I'll continue my viola and piano lesson after SPM (?). I'm not sure about that. But for the time being, I'm playing music by ear. (I know its a disgrace to play by ear, but I can't help it..) I found music with chords then I play it on the piano. With improvisations of course. I hope anyone out there can help me on much detailed improvisation. Hehe..

Hey, I'm looking for more violist in Kuching. I hope to meet up more violist from the local community. Currently, I only know 5 violist in Kuching. Only 3 of them are originally violist while the other 2 were 'celup-ed' ones. Yea, 'former' violinist. Yes Master, Olivia is the ori ones.

Now, I'm off to some place better. So, look out world, super dody is coming to town. Living life with no regrets!

A few weeks had passed unnoticed. I'm going through a metamorphosis phase. I'm trying to change for the better or maybe for the worse, that'll be my options to choose. I'm not blaming anyone on my wretched luck, but I'm blaming myself. Okey? Get it? Let's go.

Band practice has start since the first week of school. First mission? Recruitment drive. We had practices a few days before the drive and a few hours before it too. The results? Go figure.
It was a nice practice NOT . Though it was a tiring one, I'm still happy to be around them.


Every time I look at all the ex-members, I see faces, darkened by idleness. Nah, I'm not gonna talk about them anyway...

Oh my, my back hurts, TOO BAD! It's like I've been doing stretching the whole week. I can't imagine how Fernandez feels right now. Must've been hell of a night. I got a junior, his name? Fernandez..ermm...Fernandez what? I don't know. Go ask his brother, Louis. :)

School is fine. I'm meant, real good. Friends I found everywhere. Not that I condemned my last class, but that's the fact of it. I hate that class. Yea I made a couple of good friends, but a man gotta do what a man gotta do in times of trouble, MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
The teachers in my new class are good. They teach us well, and answer our every little 'bonus' questions. And one more thing, I decided to sit right in front of the class. So, deal with my tall-ness. Ahaha..



I'll get my head ready for the conviction...*nah..!*

My current affection...none.



After a month *or more* with no updates...here i go.



Tonight's like one of those nights that I'll feel the urge to blog. I'm full of surprises..*u know that don't you?*



Twilight. I've got to admit, that movie is awesome. Used to hate it. Wondering why every one love it so God-damn much. Now I've seen it myself, I'll make sure the third movie is in my list of ' Must-See Movies'.



I've just got back from the KL trip. It was a long trip anyway. Can't bother much to talk about it. But as this post goes on, I'm sure I'll slip it into it anyway.



Packing those instruments are supposed to be an easy task. But when your 'supposedly-be-there' box is gone, your hopes crumble, and vanished right between your eyes. Yes, I lost my box. That was the only thing that got me going that day. Looking around, searching for the box. My drums are not really the type of drum that could fit in any box you know. You have to cut it, to fit it in...*duh*. Now I really wonder what happen to that box anyway.



Off to airport the next day. It was a long day, literally. Stranded at the airport, with cancelled air tickets...beat that! We're not even in KL yet. But thanks to one of the member's mum, its all settled. Never thought that 'his' mum could be a saviour. But thanks anyway.



We reached the hostel, (Alam Shah Science School) at around 7 or 8 p.m.. When I reach our room, Joo Lung showed me the 'bad news'. Our fourth bass drum's rim is broken. Really wondered how that happened. Was it our fault or the MAS' fault? Case left unsolved anyway.



Those days passed through a lot of memory banks. I'll miss it..seriously. Its one of those memories that I'll care...not as much as the 2007 KLWMBC memories of course. That's a true nostalgia.



On our way back to Kuching, i fell sick. One of the worst in my life. Still can't figure out what it was actually. My head was spinning around like a merry-go-round. In the plane, i tried to vomit it out, but nothing came out. Haha. Weird, huh?



Life goes on as usual after that. Back to boringness and stupidity to the max. I can't believe how much I've gotten over that 'person'. I'm sure this is all just another hallucination.



Love can cause so much pain in our heart. How I was naive to fall into it, better luck next time. I'm thinking, SINGLE but not available. What do you guys think? Pop up some opinions. Let's discuss this 'matter-of-the-heart'.



New Year is coming soon. Oh! Before I forgot, Salam Maal Hijrah to all my muslim friends out there. I know it's kindda too late. *blush*

And yea, school's starting too. I'm looking out to studying...*total hypocrite..*

I'm alive!
Still alive..*duh*

Today's going to be the day, for the Majlis Penangguhan Safari Membaca 2009. And this is my second performance as a violist! YEAY!

Practice was tiring and torturing. My fingers are hardened due constant playing. I can see that it's a little bluish. And that sums up when an amateur like me tries to play the violincello. Like OMG! It's very tiring. But i love the sweetness and mellow sound of it. Not to turn my back on my viola of course. I still love my viola..

One thing that i learnt from this whole experiance is that KUCHING NEEDS MORE VIOLIST!!! rather than having more violinist. And I can see that I'm the only Malay, Muslim, in the string line and the ONLY VIOLIST FOR THIS FREAKIN' ORCHESTRA!!! That's no fun at all. *believe me..* And another trivia is that I'm the only muslim to play the viola!

I get to know more friends by the way. Ashley 'Bashley' Ng from the cello line. She's kindda messed up i guess, thanks to Amanda 'si gila' Thian. I like her chill attitude before getting 'infected' by Amanda. Haha. Don't laugh at this one Ash. Amanda on the other hand is the crazy teenage girl who's mental is slightly of centre. I'd say she's one crazy cellist. But I know she's very talented. Blueh~

Michael Liaw, another cellist. He's form one, from S.M.K Sungai Maong. Lately he's getting more social and start laughing when Ash and I were playing jokes on Amanda. * sounds sadistic to me..*

Then, sitting next to me is the talented 15 years old violinist, Julia Peter. She is a Eurasian *beat that Kevin!* But people claimed that she's Indian. Believe me, she doesn't look like one though. She's friendly, loud and happening everytime. Blurry at times though. Then, we have Mr. Doron Teh. A Josephian and an ex-member of St. Joseph's Band. Very quirky though. Haha. He'll be smiling and give me that 'Doron-face' of his. Then, his sister Caryl Teh, sitting next to him. She's like the smallest thing in the whole orchetra. So small, adorable but not to be taken lightly. Well, she's 12 and she already have a crush...*woohoo*

And the list goes on and on. People from all walks of life come together for this one performance and I 'm proud to be one of them. What more to do when you're the ONLY violist in the whole orchestra. *Olivia! You owe me something for this!* Beautiful minds work together and that shows how united we are.

******

To my dear friends who's going through heartbreaks, get over it. I know i did...long time ago. It's not the end, it's merely a new beginning. Start a new life and it shall lead you up to somewhere better. I'm not talking from experiance though. Mine's a pure failure. But i'm sure everything will turn out as it should be.

Now, I'll be getting ready for the performance!

Yup, that's me, with my viola. Thanks to Alyss for that 'wonderful' picture.

You guys can see how bad my posture is while playing the viola. Hah!

Next event, well I'm not quite sure of what it is, but i'm pretty sure it'll be fun as always. I'm looking forward to that.

Next week is still exam week. Blueh~

I see the form 3s are enjoying their 'holiday'. NOT!

Seems that the principal is not going to let them go after three years of studying for that 5 days of horror. Like hello? What else can they do in school? You're gonne let them smoke around behind the stadium, watching 'weird' stuff and all. Lucky that my batch we're given permission to skip school after the PMR last year. And God, we had so much fun. Sorry kids, its just not your thing huh?

Band is coming up, we're looking forward for another great year ahead. But before that, let me introduce some of the leaders for next year...

Afternoon Supervisor : Muhd. Shahiran

Section leaders : Flutes - Sebastian Tan

Clarinets - Camilus Caem

Saxophones - 'idk'

Horns and Trumpets - Bertrand Albert Jugah and Jeffrey Mark Law

Trombones - Stanton Tan

Euphonium - Nasrullah Yusup

Tubas - *i cant remember his name*

Drumline - Raphael Isaiah (clap clap)

Welfare Committe: Abdul Waie bin Abdul Rahman

Faizul Zuraimi

Shilton Speilberg

Marking Committe : Brendan Albert Jugah

Louis Vissal

Fitness Committe : Drum majors

Secretariates : Luke Kennedy Sia

Timothy Ng Jun Jia

Sebastian Tan

Drum Majors : Jordan Wee Yang Yaw and ***** **** ********

Assistant drum major : Frederick Toh Wen Fu

Band Major : Jeffrey Mark Law

Assistant Band Major : Ian Rino

Good Luck to all leaders. *except me*

Gosh, I must be very bored right now

Yup, the tittle says it all. I'm finally 'car-literate'. if there is such word
I can drive a car. Yeay me! *boo* And I had my first car trouble this evening. Yup, BOOOO!

I was at the petrol station when it all happened. After filling up the petrol tank, I turn the ignition on, but the car won't start up at all. I figured that it might be the usual 'dead-for-a-while' syndrome. So I switch it off, and tried again. After more than 15 attempts, the petrol lady quickly came to the rescue! *phew*

"Pahal nih Dik? *I'm obviously younger than her..* Enjin tak nak idup ker?"
"A'ah. Enjin ni rosak kot.." Me with my dumb-ass face, giving her the innocent 'get-me outta-this-mess' face.
"Ok. Sikpa, kelak mek panggil Pak Malik. Tunggu lok."
"Ok-ok. Trima kasih ye kak."

***after a short while****

"Ok, pak cik mok startkan kereta tok, korang tolak k?" said hte mechanic.
I nod my head, dumbly.

After pushing the car for some time, the car finally started.
Owh, how I almost cried with reliefe. How I missed that loud-strong sound of that old engine.

I got into the car and drive home, SAFELY.

*****at home*****

I told my mum about the car. Well, surprisingly, my mum wasn't that furious. It was expected she said.

My dad called the mechanic and got the car fixed in half an hour.

I'M SAVED!!!

********

I'm done with driving cars alone. I'll try to overcome temptation to drive the car. I hope...

******

Anyway, I didn't go to school today. I had this serious stomach ache. It all started last Saturday. I thought it was caused by my stupid habit of skipping meals. Believe it or not, I didn't eat the whole day. So, my mum thought it was gastric. I thought so as well. I drank lots of milk to soothe the pain in the stomache.

After five days, FIVE days, i finnaly went to the hospital. I got the diagnosis, and the doctor pronounce that I had an infection. My tonsils gotinfected and that caused the stomache ache. So, I'll live..

I'm alive, still breathing and will keep on breathing. I'll move on with my life, living it to the fullest. I'll enjoy whatever time I had left to spread joy to people around me. And if you guys got a problem with it, deal with it yourself. I'm not a joker, nor am I a saint. I love my life. I know some of you guys out there doesn't really love your life, but I do. I will always do.

Psychology...

That's a very mysterious part of human life. But I'm weirdly attached to study about it. But I'm prone to mental-illness and being a psychotic that way. But hell yeah, I'm insane already anyway..

**************

I'm in deep shit. Honestly in deep ugly-smelling-hideous-looking pile of shit. I'm obsessed head over heels on someone. Usually, I'm not THIS crazy and...erm...well, just crazy. I don't know when this whole 'I'm in love' thingy started but right now, it is a God damn serious hell-of-a-deal to handle.

I'm not the type of person who blog out all the gory details about my affection for somebody, but this is out-of-ordinary. I'm confused and starting to feel as if I'm in between. I can't make any wise decision. Right now, so, be wise and don't ask me to do any decision, OK?

**************

Anyway, apart from being 'lost-in-self-made-metamorphosis', I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about me.

************


MARTHA MARDIANNA MESSINA!!!!! SHARON MELISSA!!! YOU TWO GIRLS BETTER START STUDYING FOR PMR! IT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER, AND YOU TWO CAN SIT DOWN THERE, MAKAN KUIH-MUIH! CHEH! MEMALUKAN SAJA!


Anyway, I wished you guys all the best for this coming exam. Do your best, and let GOD do the rest for you guys gals.